Thanks Simon! Here's his website.

Countdown to Canada: 5 days :O

E-I-E-I-O

Comic is up, more or less on time, despite being ravaged by the Bacon Flu. Hope you like text. Largely the fault of Silv and I, since I rewrote it to the current configuration, to tie up the backgroundy loose ends that he was eager to clarify.

EN pauses here for a breather. We'll hopefully get some content to put up between now and my return to business. As mentioned: off to Canadia.

Well, being away for 3 days was a semi-legitimate excuse... I'll also add to it: a general hard time at getting the comic done lately; it being a tricky-to-pull-off, action-packed, special effects-driven extravaganza; and I'm leaving the godsdamn continent in less than a month, argh.

S'up now, though.

So next comic will more-or-less wrap up this story. There's some epilogue and overlap to follow, but #299 is a good a place as any to pause. And pause we shall, because of the aforementioned emigration. So after next week's comic, EN will go on a short hiatus until I get settled in Canada, and get my act together in terms of timely updates. Maybe we'll get something done for #300, and then #301 will hopefully mark a return to punctuality. When? October 10th I arrive in Canada, so gimme a week or two after that. Subscribe to the RSS feed, and we'll blog and let you know. (I've never subscribed to a feed in my life, but I gather that's how it works.)

To fill the gap, why not do us a guest comic? Send to:

So in case you were wondering why we didn't update EN last week, we actually had a legitimate excuse this time! The EN crew and several members of the forum travelled to the Alton Towers theme park in Staffordshire because Virus is moving to Canada to live with his girlfriend, so it was a sort of last hurrah and a chance to meet some good people and spend 20 minutes in a queue to for a 60 second ride. The total number was 14 people. Myself Garry (Lothar), Stuart (Eastwood), Martin (Silversword), Alan of course (Virus), his two younger brothers Barry (the middle child) and Dean (the youngest out of us at 14...but he looked at least 19. Probably should have held back on all the sex jokes, and pointing out all the phallic imagery around the park), and Virus’s mother and her boyfriend who I never actually learned the names of. Oops From the forum we had my mate Drew, (Studio Asperger), Nick (Metallix Brother), Iain (Retrogamer), Jeff (Jeff38uk), Matt, (Feldoon), and Jon (Pixellated).

Studio and I drove down on Sunday. Nothing much happened really, borrowed a GPS unit from my mother and we only got “lost” once for about 30 seconds when it was getting us back on route. Got to the hotel where six of us were staying at about 3pm. Called the other travellers, which consisted of East, Silv, Jeff, and Feldoon, all being picked up by East. They were lost. Well not strictly true, East and Feldoon had been lost in Hounslow for two hours trying to find Jeff, who is now a cunt apparently. Eventually they found him and went to pick up Silv...which they did at SIX PM (or thereabouts). Studio and I ended up going to see District 9 at a nearby cinema, then having something to eat and heading back to the hotel...and they still hadn’t shown up. The short version of this was that muggins here had to pay for their damn rooms so they didn’t lose them (they paid me back straight away though), and they didn’t arrive until about 11pm. By that time all the purveyors of alcoholic beverages were closed, so there wasn’t much to do except go to bed.

The next day started more successfully, everybody was up and after breakfast the drive to the park began, with me leading the way because that lot couldn’t navigate themselves out of a playground which had big signs saying “Exit this way!” We got to the park after driving through pretty much every village in the county, and managed to meet up with Alan and family, then had to ride the second most annoyingly voiced monorail ever, a fucking pirate. Captain Black. Not Blackbeard, not Black Heart, just Black, this got old very fast. When we got to the station we managed to find Retro, Nick and Pix. There we spent the next few minutes saying hello, taking pictures, signing the British flag I got for Alan, and stealing Retro’s goggles and declaring I would take over the world followed by laughing like an evil genius, which got weird looks. Not as many as Feldoon though who came dressed as a Fascist. Seriously, check the pictures I’ll link to at the end.

The day at the park started with golf, weirdly. There was a hole in one thing where you had to try and get a golf ball in a hole in the middle of a small lake. I had some extra cash so I had a go, and failed miserable. There’s a video of me doing it on Pix’s youtube account. Everyone laughed...until East had a go and failed harder. At least I managed to hit the lake.

We then went on Oblivion, which is one of those 90 degree drop coasters. And by we, I meant eight of us, because Retro, Stuart, Studio, and Martin didn’t. Got on the ride in about 20 minutes and I found it very fun and I had about a half second thought of “oh shit I’m gonna die” before it was over. In the EN topic I’ll link to there will be a picture of me at the top and after the ride.

We then proceeded to get refresh by buying a £6 cup which allows for free refills all day in the park, which everyone said was a rip off at first but then half the fuckers got it afterwards. I’m a trendsetter.

We then went to the most boring ride at the park, Hex. Here’s the Wikipedia quote:

“The theme of the attraction is loosely set around the local legend of the Chained oak found at Alton, in which the 15th Earl of Shrewsbury was cursed by an old beggarwoman to suffer a death in the family every time a branch fell from the oak tree. Hex's version embellishes the end of the 'original' tale with the Earl experimenting on one of the fallen branches in a vault deep within the Towers themselves, and it is this vault, with its entrance bricked up behind behind a bookcase, that has been supposedly been sealed up for two centuries and only recently discovered during renovation work.

The attraction starts in the real armoury of the Towers, decorated with scaffolding and artefacts, which starts to tell the story of the renovation and the discovery of the vault, through video screens found along the twisting atmospheric queue-line. Statues draped in dust sheets decorate plinths high up near the darkened ceiling and sound-effects of chiselling can be heard to give the suggestion that this renovation is currently ongoing and unfinished. At the end of the queue line is a large painting of the Earl hung on the wall, and visitors hear a short narrative which gives a brief introduction to the legend before they are shown onwards into the cinema area (still part of the real building) where visitors watch a short film which dramatises the legend and makes it clear that they will soon be visiting the recently-discovered vault where the original branch is located.
From the cinema area, guests are let through into the Octagon (still part of the real building) - a large dimly-lit eight-sided hall containing more scaffolding and dust-sheets, draped curtains and a whirring generator high on a wall - and are led to believe that the story will be told further through more video screens. However, the generator suddenly 'blows', causing the lights and the video screens to fail and the room is plunged into semi-darkess. A wind picks up, causing the drapes to billow, and the ghostly cursing of the beggarwoman can be heard, along with the loud crash of a falling branch and the sound of horse's hooves. An apparition can be briefly seen in an alcove. To add to the suspense, the noise of the crashing branch is synchronised with a light water spray falling from the ceiling onto the guests below. The generator restarts and the lighting comes back up to allow guests to move up a small staircase, past the bookcase and into the next section of the attraction.
At this point, the guests are moving from the original building up into the specially-constructed part of the ride, but due to the careful continuation of themeing, it is difficult to tell where this occurs. They turn to the left past the bookcase and along a short, low-ceilinged 'stone' corridor - once again similarly-decorated to the rest of the attraction - where they wait at two doors for entry into the vault. The vault itself is a large hall-like structure, with the decorative ceiling supported by stone pillars, and shelves containing dusty artefacts lit with flickering candles. It contains the branch itself, chained to a long ledge that runs along the middle of the room, two rows of lap-bar benches that face the branch and a large machine, covered in lights and dials, which the Earl supposedly used in his experiments, which is located up against the far wall and wired to one end of the branch.”

Basically after all that exposition you sit down on a set of seats and they swing, while the floor you’re swinging over moves as well, making it seem for all of 1 second that you’re going upside down. This reveals a face of branches under the crappy plastic branch. Someone said it looked like Cthulhu, I personally thought it was Ceiling Cat. People were screaming at this. Idiots. Also what kind of experiments can you do on a tree branch anyway?

“Quickly Igor, place the cat on the branch! Hmm...perhaps if we smother it in gravy and nails we will get the required reaction!”
“And that reaction is what exactly master?”
“Haven’t a fucking clue!”

After this, we went to Rita, a short ride that accelerates from 0-60mph in 2.5 seconds. Nine of us went on it this time, basically leaving Studio, East, and Silv to hold our stuff. It looked rather sedate but the burst of acceleration just hits you with barely any warning. I remember Retro coming off it and walking like a zombie for a good few minutes after that.

Oh we had a theme of the day where everybody had to wear hats due to a Team Fortress 2 in joke. I intended to bring a Jayne hat from Firefly but it didn't arrive in time, so I brought a winter hat. As part of the in joke, we made Pix wear ALL our hats (something like seven or eight in total) at once. The sight was glorious and made Jeff fall to his knees.

This is where I forget the order we did things, then after that we headed for the nearby Burger King and it is the only “fast food” place that has ever lived up to it’s name. You give them the money, boom, there’s your food. I gave Raye a call while we were eating letting her know how we were doing.

The next ride we went on River Rapids, the only ride we all went on. There was much wetness, plus East tipping his hat to people who kept looking at him like he just asked them if he could fuck their sister. We all got quite wet but I think Silv “won” that honour. After this a couple of people had a go on some crooked carny games. Nothing was won. Though at this point Retro went on this rock climbing wall, and barely beat a small girl to the top.

After this we went on “Duel” which is a haunted house with light-guns where you shoot the monsters/zombies. Like Hex, it was boring, but unlike Hex, your hand hurt afterwards. You didn't even have to frigging aim as they had stuck the receiver lights for the guns everywhere! On the zombies, the walls, the ceiling etc. I ended up just pointing randomly and firing. What was annoying was all the girls in the cart in front of us screaming at this stuff that wasn’t scary in the slightest. Studio, Feldoon, and Silv were in the same cart and apparently Feldoon in full Fascist mode argued with them and possibly told them to go bear children for the future of the glorious Reich, or something.

After this we headed for Nemesis, a ride I’ve always wanted to go on, and we were down to five people going on the big rides. Myself, Virus, Feldoon, and Virus’s brothers. I had a slight headache in the line for it, and after going through the very fun 3.5G turns it became a FULL FUCKING MIGRANE. This was annoying as I couldn’t look anywhere because of the light. The stupid amounts of Coca-Cola and the heat probably didn’t help. East kindly gave me some headache tablets while the other four who rent on the rid headed for Air, which I was kind of disappointed to miss, though Virus said it was rather sedate so I wasn’t missing much. But at least I had a legitimate excuse for not going on it, against everyone else’s excuse of suddenly growing vaginas.

After this, crooked carny games! I won a SpongeBob doll for Raye, and East won some Mario and Luigi dolls. Apparently the person running that stall was a man, but I swear to Zeus it was a woman! The group apparently finds this hilarious. We also spent about five minutes debating whether to play an arcade version of Guitar Hero before passing, and I mugged Pix for his hat. I mugged him by tickling him.

After the carny games we proceeded into the Sea Life Centre aquarium, and got a picture of us looking like the campest submarine crew ever. It was quite a nice relaxing experience and helped my headache lot. Also there were some fish fighting. Highlights were pretty much everything Stuart did, where he somehow managed to antagonise a crab that followed his every move, and when we went through the tunnel, he nearly leapt as this projection of a pirate ghost who kept saying “the ghost of the sea” over and over and over and over and over and over. To be fair I probably would have handed him the shark. After this we got separated in a very small area before finally meeting up at this very loud speaker where we could learn how to speak pirate. Personally it all sounded like someone simultaneously having a stroke while having their testicles taken out. Feldoon also said a urinal spoke to him, but he’s crazy.

Since the day was almost over, we decided to head to the mini-golf. At first we all decided to walk to it, but then Group Sensible, being myself, Virus and his brothers, Jeff, and Studio, decided not to, and took the monorail instead. There we got the most annoying voice over ever, like a young Michael Jackson after having his testicles removed, where the anaesthetic was helium. It made us want to die.

Eventually, the other group realised their folly as there is actually no way to walk to the mini-golf. And they met us about half an hour later. By this time Alan’s mother and her boyfriend and his brothers had to leave, as well as Retro and Metallix,but Virus decided to come back to the hotel with us and drive back with me and Studio and take a train back home from Middlesbrough where I had to drop Studio. So we said bye to his family and to Retro and Metallix. It turned out Retro made it back home ELEVEN HOURS LATER at 7:30am because he’s an idiot and wouldn’t stay at a Travel Lodge. Ironically he did this as he had work the next day, which he ended up calling in sick for.

Then the mini-golf was on.

We played 18 holes divided between “Team EN” consisting of the EN creative crew, and “The Other Guys” consisting of everyone else. I had this uncanny knack of making the difficult shots, like sending a golf through a loop or jumping over water hazards etc., but completely buggering it up by missing the fecking hole three thousands times when I was two inches from it. But a good time was had by all, except The Other Guys who actually caused a queue to form behind them because they were completely crap. I didn't win the round I believe East did overall. Though Virus, who is moving to Canada, won a free game of golf for the next time he feels like doing so. All he has to do is cross the Atlantic Ocean.

After this the remaining eight headed back to our hotel for some drinks, snacks, and a game of Zombies!!! that East had brought with him. Think Left 4 Dead in board game form. Was a good romp, although I was disappointed I wasn’t allowed to shoot Feldoon’s guy in the leg since he laid a shitload of zombies in front of me. Pix had to leave just before midnight to get home, Virus taking his place, and since I had to call Raye again I let Jeff stand in for me, and he then proceeded to win, meaning I also won. Great team effort Jeff!

The next day was just driving back home after having a McDonald's breakfast and saying goodbye to Feldoon, Silv, East and Jeff. Virus, Studio and I drove back (and by that I mean I drove back). Not much happened on the way back apart from I bought everyone a coffee/tea/hot chocolate. We made it back to Middlesbrough where Drew had to catch his bus, and me and Virus browsed in Forbidden Planet seeing if there were any decent graphic novels/TPBs. I got Batman: Going Sane, he got Fables: War and Peace. Then we said our probable last goodbyes at the train station. We hugged, which I did to everyone else at the meet at least once. I then headed for home and did fuck all for the rest of the day.

So, all in all, an awesome meet up, a good way to meet up with guys from the forums, and a great way to see Virus off. Probably won;t be the last time we’re all together but certainly for some time. Got some good memories out of it.

To see the photos and videos of the day you can go to the official topic on the EN boards:

http://z8.invisionfree.com/Exterminatus_Now/index.php?showtopic=4767

Ok, so Batman Arkham Asylum, is frankly, the best game I’ve played this year. I can;t think of any other game that had me playing for three and a half hours straight on the day I got it without me realising that much time had passed. I also played it for 3 hours so far today and decided to take a break for a few minutes and type this up. God I dunno where to start.

Arkham itself is a brilliant setting for this game, you’ve got murderers, some screaming lunatics, and honest to god supervillains. During the opening where you walk Joker in to the asylum, I shat myself because a lift came up and there was just this mass of scales and muscle hunched over...then it stands up and it’s Killer Croc, who’s twice the height of you, and almost that broad...I have to fight him later...eep.

The combat gets a little getting used to but once you get it into your skull it’s not about hammering the x button, it’s about getting the flow right, keeping a good rhythm, it feels fantastic to take on ten guys as Batman.

Favourite villain encounter so far has to be the Scarecrow sections. Two words, Eternal Darkness. Honestly even if you HATE Batman you should buy this.

ail.

So you know how I forgot to take my file with me to my dad's on Sunday two weeks back? This time I didn't bother taking the laptop, or even so much as a pad. I was just that pissed off with it by then.

Oh go read Girl Genius. And try not to notice that it's not only much better drawn, but updates without fail three times a week *weep*

EN update? I really don't know at this point. I'll see if I can make some more progress tomorrow, if I don't feel so goddamn crappy and sapped of energy again.

Sorry guys, I goofed this weekend. I went to my dad's, with intent to carry on comicking on my laptop, but I forgot my USB drive with the comic file on it. And considering that drive was built into my watch (incidentally a birthday present from my girlfriend last week), yeah that was pretty stupid.

The above is a dramatisation of real events, the participants are portrayed by actors. There was only the three of us, knocking around on a CP game, and I'd managed to cap the first two points solo. Eastwood ordered I should draw it, so it becomes filler til I can get my act together for next week.

Laaaaate and unfinished. It was my birthday, shut up. I sleeps now.

V

We recently did an interview at Team Excentrikz, your number one source for horrible spelling.

Exterminatus Now Interview



Also, I may have Swine Flu. Awesome! *dies of feeling like he was hit by a truck*

Leave it to the professionals

Sorry about the late blog post, comic's been up since Sunday evening.

Big thank you to those who donated. Made about £100, which ain't bad for free money, and it's gone towards a one o these, and it's handling quite nicely so far, thanks. I wouldn't say no to further donations! Hey RedFox, here's the reminder you told me to give you :P

Despicable.

I think I'm getting good at the free form panels. Much as when the shit started hitting the fan in the Morth story, these action sequences just need so much more panel space. They turn out cool, though takes (even) longer to lay out.

And hey, if you appreciate the art, why not leave a tip:

Thanks a lot!

No, my computer didn't die. No, EN updates aren't in any danger. I'm just busking. I just want a PC that'll run games decently, since my laptop doesn't. It's a completely selfish thing, and nobody's under ANY obligation to donate. But if you appreciate my art every week, and you feel like throwing a bit of spare change my way, then I'll be able to put it to good use. Thanks!

Dear. Fucking. God.

I liked the first Transformers movie, it was a good switch your brain off movie. This isn’t. Your brain will switch off but due to the sheer amount of audio and visual stimuli. And that’s not a compliment, the higher parts of your brain will simply shut off because they can’t handle the sheer inept nature of the awful movie. At the time of writing I can only think of one movie that I have seen that is worse, that being Mel Gibson’s “What Women Want.” And before any one accuses me of hating it because it’s not G1, I have a near complete collection of Transformers Animated toys. It’s just a terrible movie. I going for spoilers here, but honestly I want you to read this so you wont go see it. I’ll try and remember the correct order, but the plot cuts in and out that often I honestly can’t remember the specific order and I think if I try my brain will die.

The movie opens with humans and Autobots hunting for Decepticons in Bethlehem Steel, standing in for Shanghai China, where SHIT BLOWS UP when they find two of them disguised as vehicles (why the soldiers are shocked by this I have no idea). Then a very long chase scenes ensues with the giant shovel crane Transformers riding through Shanghai, causing millions in property damage and life insurance claims, before being killed by Prime somehow. During this chase a silver car transformer kills another silver car transformer by slicing it in half while three bike transformers follow it. The only way you know one of the silver car Transformers is the good guy is because he wins and doesn’t get shot by the military afterwards. Things blow up and get destroyed so quickly after each other it’s hard to follow until it ends. The rampage ends only after going across the city and killing several hundred civilians with thousands more witnessing it before it’s apparently covered up...HOW? They also say the massive fight in the city at the end of the first film was covered up, but never mention how. I honestly believe they didn’t say how because they couldn’t think of a way to do it! And neither can I, because how do you cover up giant fucking alien robots fighting in a major population centre? I know why, BECAUSE MICHAEL BAY WILLS IT! We also meet the Retarded Twin Transformers, who act like black people who act like white people who are trying to act like black people. One has a gold tooth.

Then we cut to Sam and his fucking annoying family. They’re crying because he’s leaving for college, when Sam finds a piece of the McGuffin 1 (AllSpark) from the last movie in his shirt, which causes all his house’s kitchen appliances to come to life and try to kill him. Then Bumblebee storms in destroys half the house along with the evil kitchen robots, and the police come...and nobody fucking noticed the fucking giant robot which is only slightly smaller than the house causing giant fucking explosions in the backyard. BECAUSE MICHAEL BAY WILLS IT!

Oh and there’s two instances where some dogs are having sex while this happens. BECAUSE MICAHEL BAY WILLS IT! Then Tits McGee (Mikaela) Sam’s girlfriend comes over after having a retarded conversation about breaking up with him before all the explosions happened, for a teary goodbye.

Then we get dragged to Generic College where Sam’s mum buys brownies with weed in and goes completely nuts, including assaulting someone to steal their frisbees. We meet Sam’s asshat room mate Fred Latino. I have no idea what his real name is so I’m calling him that. He’s a conspiracy nut who thinks Transformers are real and he thus becomes Sam’s Wacky Sidekick. Sam goes to a party where he gets jumped by Slutty McSlut, who wants to jump his bones because she’s a slut and he...has a stupid last name? Bumblebee then shows up and reminds Sam not to cheat because we have to have a stupid romantic sub-plot.

The soldiers from the opening scene bring back their dead, including one British soldier, while having a long camera shot pan down to a guy, in the US military, who has a British Flag on his shoulder. Through the rest of the movie he uses a not very convincing British accent to shout orders when lead soldier Captain Lennox and Tyrese Gibson are too busy being completely fucking useless.

Meanwhile Optimus Prime is arguing with Bureaucratic Twatface, who doesn’t like Transformers because they won’t give them their weapons technology, I think. Honestly I stopped paying attention by this point.

We cut back to college where Sam has a fit and starts seeing Transformers symbols in his head, calls Tits McGee, who gets attacked by a RC Car transformer, then shoves it in a box then gets on a plane to see him bring the robot with her. Gee I wonder if she’ll find Slutty McSlut trying to jump Sam again and get the wrong idea?

Then the Decepticon Soundwave tentacle rapes a satellite and finds where Sam and the other piece of the McGuffin that Prime took out of Megatron’s chest in the last movie are, and sends his kitty Transformer Ravage to steal it. He does this by vomiting into the bases, then his vomit comes alive and kills the soldiers. BECAUSE MICHAEL BAY WILLS IT. He and four other Decepticons, making a total of five, then sneak into the ocean (yes). And revive Megatron, by killing one of their own number because a tiny doctor Transformer tells them to so he can use the parts to rebuild him. Then a submarine sonar operator monitoring the site, says there are six targets coming out of the trench. OK, so 5 transformers go in, one gets killed, and six come out. Weird maths but I guess the tiny doctor...who wasn’t one screen when the other five went in, could be the sixth. I dunno, it made no sense at the time. But then, wouldn’t that mean six Transformers were identified by the submarine going in?

Anyway Optimus Prime tells Sam that he needs to tell Bureaucratic Twat to get off their back, Sam tells him to go fuck himself because he’s Optimus Fucking Prime and should be able to stand up for himself.

Megatron then goes to...somewhere, finds Starscream, beats him up a bit, and then goes and moans to his dad, The Fallen, who says he wants generic revenge against Optimus Prime.

Sam goes back to college where Slutty McSlut tries to rape him, while Tits McGee meets up with Fred Latino and they catch the act and Tits McGee hilariously gets the wrong idea! Then Sam tries to stop her when OMG SLUTTY MCSLUT IS A DECEPTICON RAPE ASSASSIN! Another massively destructive chase scene ensure where everyone in the college sees it but Sam, Tits and Fred manage to kill the thing and get captured by No Name Decepticon #1 who takes them to Megatron who wants to get at Sam’s juicy brain meats because all the information from the McGuffin is embedded in his head, so they need to get it out. Prime and co bust in rescue same and get chased from the middle of a city to...a forest in about two shots. Prime is alone and fights the Decepticons and gets killed. The Fallen then suddenly gets up and starts scheming. He announces to the world that the Transformers are real and demands Sam be brought to him or he’ll unleash Michael Bay’s explosions on the entire world.

Primes body is dumped back at base where Lennox, Tyrese, and British Guy are. His Transformers buddies are stopped by Bureaucratic Twat who decides the best way to fight the Decepticons is to lock the Autobots up. Because M16’s, tanks and helicopters have proven absolutely no use so far, so of course we can beat them on our own.

Sam, Bumbleebee, the Retard Twins, Tits and Fred are on the run, along with the RC Transformer from earlier, who Tits now treats like a pet dog. Fred serves his only purpose to the plot. He knows where to find someone who can help Sam figure out the symbols in his head and figure out what The Fallen is actually doing (presumably the script is in Cybertronian). They find Crazy Agent Simmons, from the first movie, who reveals that there are some really old Transformers on earth who might know what the symbols mean. The closest one is in the Smithsonian Museum in Washington, so they devise a clever scheme to distract the guards and get to him by having Fred Latino walk around with his trousers and boxers around his ankles and then tazer them. They find Jetfire who is an old British man who takes them to Egypt by Michael Bay favourite method of transportation...EXPLOSIONS. Why? BECAUSE MICHAEL BAY WILLS IT.

We then have them dicking around in the desert solving a stupid riddle, trying to find a device that the Fallen wants to blow up the sun, but needs another McGuffin to use. This McGuffin can also be used to resurrect Optimus, so they contact Here, they’re vaguely racist to Egyptians, coming across and Egyptian Napolean order guard who lets them cross because Simmons talks to him like a retard and because they’re American. While doing this, they contact Lennox and tell him to get his arse to Egypt and bring Prime with them because they can bring him back to life and he’s the only one who can kill the Fallen.

They find the McGuffin in a tomb which is built out of the corpses of The Fallen’s brothers (because it’s GrimDark) who were the previous Primes which Optimus is descended from. The McGuffin falls to dust.

This is where I give up making sense of the movie and want to get this review over with. They get the dust still thinking it can be used when EVERY FUCKING TRANSFORMER IN THE UNIVERSE CRASHES IN EGYPT while the military starts blowing up everything in sight. This battle lasts a good forty five minutes, if not longer, and never lets up and gets very old very fast. Also, apparently the giant crane robot from the beginning of the movie shows up, with his friends, one of which was killed to resurrect Megatron. And turn into a giant robot. Who does nothing but eat bricks, gets shot, and has a giant pair of wrecking balls on his crotch (even though none of the transformers who made him up turned into cranes with wrecking balls), just for the purpose of making a scrotum joke. BECAUSE MICHAEL BAY WILLS IT. One of the fights has Bumblebee fighting a Transformer with a giant spring for his legs.

Sam gets exploded, goes to Transformer Heaven, comes back, and resurrects Prime. Jetfire kills himself so Prime can use his corpse as body armour (GRIMDARK!). Prime then kicks seven shades of crap out of everyone, ripping off faces and ripping out spines (literally) then Autobots win, Megatron and Starscream retreat to go make their plans for the inevitable sequel and the movie ends with Prime and Sam looking into the distant like smug fucking arse wipes because they know everyone and their kids is going to see this fucking movie and they’re going to be richer than Scrooge McDuck if he discovered great tasting chocolate that actually makes you lose weight.

Honestly it’s a fucking terrible shambles of a film, don’t fucking bother. The plot is barely there and is used to vaguely tie together all the massive explosions and shooting in the desert. It should have been called CGI AND EXPLOSIONS 2: MCGUFFINS AND UNCLEAR MOTIVATION! Do not spend your money or your time on it. I honestly cannot convey with enough emotion with the amount of words in the English language how bad it is.

Curse you Gandhi!

I really hate that phrase.

Hey, you guys remember RedFox? That guy I set on fire? Well he and some other members of our forum have started their own webcomic, PANTHERA. So please go give it a visit at www.pantheracomic.com. Enjoy.

Added some new navigation above and below the comic. An easily-accessible forum link at last. I added RSS links, but also changed the feed they point to so you might want to update your feed reader. The previous feed incorporated an entry generated by Comic Genesis when the comic updated, but it was unreliable as to when it was generated, and I couldn't control the content of it easily. Plus it was redundant since we've been announcing updates in the blog.

I doodled this when I needed some warmup when inking the comic. I should do quick things like this more often. I need the practice.

With extra special hidden message.

I got Prototype on Xbox 360 this week. I've got a fair ways in now and it's not as much fun as I had hoped, but still decent. As I said before it is Radical's previous game, Hulk: Ultimate Destruction, but less fun. The combat is quite similar, but scaled down somewhat and I think this makes it less fun. In Hulk, you could leap huge distances and start chucking tanks around instantly, and then the combat built on this and got more and more creative, up to the point where you could launch yourself at a harrier, grab on to it's cockpit, kick it at another harrier, then land on a robot and do multiple body slams on to it before chucking it at an even bigger robot to take out a missile pod so you can land on that robot and start head-butting it into submission. This doesn't seem to have that same destructive creativity. Oh sure you've got these freaky powers but you can't have as much fun with them so you essentially just slice/whip/punch things until they explode. True you can nick tanks and helicopters in this which makes up for it somewhat, as well as the stealth. Admittedly I haven't got tired of quietly sneaking in to enemy bases to acquire powers and skills, before revealing myself and going ape-shit on the troops. I also like thw ay it tells you how much damage you inflict on a certain area in casualty and monetary terms. Most I've done so far is $3 billion.

One thing this also seems to do better than Hulk is create absolute clusterfucks of enemies. If you played Hulk, you'll remember towards the last few missions you had a few missions (essentially the ones before the final boss) where the military throws absolutely everything at you. Now imagine that in Prototype, but 2 hours in. There have been a few missions where I've had to retreat a few times and then make my way back to the staging area simply because I was too busy being blown about the screen I didn't have time to attack.

Still, pretty decent but I don't think I'll be hanging on to this like I did with Hulk. In fact once I've finished this I think I'll go back and play through Hulk again rather than start this with the "New Game Plus" thing.

But you know what this game reminds me of? Spider-Man Web of Shadows. Set in New York, there's an infection turning people into infected Mutants... even the symbiote had similar powers to Alex in this. I bet you this in development beforehand as but Treyarch managed to get theirs rushed through first. Probably why this feels that familiar.